Wednesday, 22 September 2010

How to convince the doubting punters - Part Un

I've just had Gruesome P. Silverblade, Head of Community Engagement and Big Society for Nesco, on the phone, and he told me about the meeting hosted yesterday evening by Dambeth Council in the local VD Clinic of the Scretam Ice Users Group (the select band who have been selected to approve the go-ahead car-park-cum-ice-rink in Trixton) at the conveniently arranged time of 18:00.

Dambeth Council officers showed the plans for the site in detail, with A4-sized plans presented to a gawping group, until of course they realised that the matchboxed sized plans weren't actually the real thing, but a plan, which will be followed to the letter. Oh yes, it certainly will. And you'll be back in 2-20 years. Ok, so the Redskins and co probably would have folded by then, but sod it; it'll look nice next to the new three-story Nesco's Cereal Aisle.

In fact, Gruesome himself told us:

"Avast ye! Nesco Hypermegamarket have done this mob of oddballs a big favour. I mean, we're working closely with the local community on these plans to deliver the best outcome for our shareholders. And why on Earth would you want to stay in a dilapidated, dirty, dank old ice rink, clearly owned by a landlord who doesn't give two shits? Wouldn't you rather be in a temporary, but modern rink, even if it will be balancing on top of the car park like a mushroom?" (when I reminded him that he'd forgotten that Nesco's were in fact the landlords of the current Ice Rink, he went a strange colour of puce and asked me to get him a good employment lawyer).

But anyway, back to the meeting. Officers from the Council were there to explain how if the the Ice Users Group didn't approve these plans, then Nescos would fuck off elsewhere and then we could do something useful with the site, like not build a supermarket. Guilt trip over, the response was audible relief and at that point the meeting closed due to the Officers having to get home for their tea.

I hope to being you more news soon. For more on this, head off to this site

Hone Heke

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