Thursday, 30 September 2010
La crise dans Trixton - c'est tout merde!
Salut, and scuse my French! Just been doing a bit of lingua Franca and all that.
It's got rather nasty, hence the merde! The radicals of Trixton have decided that they don't like the idea of a giant wobbly mushroom perched on top of their precious, unused car-park, and are throwing their toys out of the pram.
My spies tell me that they took the action because the plans being professionally executed by Dambeth Council - loyally and self-sacrificially carried out under orders from Gruesome P. Silverblade, means that they lose a car-park that isn't even a car-park!
And now they're demanding that some new car-parking space be created so that people can lug a half-a-kilo of carrots home from the market. Hardly sustainable is it?
The solution? Easy! Some of the highly (and rightly so!) and well remunerated (and I might add, entirely polite!) officers at Dambeth have suggested an alternative to this silly market nonsense: Dig for Victory!
It's simple: get everyone to grow their own fruit and veg, just like in wartime Britain, and hey presto, no need for a market! After all, it's more sustainable, reduces traffic pollution, removes the need for all those stalls cluttering up a perfectly developable part of Trixton.
And yes, we can even grow mushrooms - giant, wobbly ones if you like: did you know they're fed on shit and kept in the dark? Sounds familiar!
Anyway, au revoir, and see you down Trixton: I'll be with Gruesome P. and Brother Cheetham measuring up that wretched cinema for a much-needed Nesco valuecornershop!