Friday, 24 September 2010

How to convince the doubting punters - Part Tres: Market yourselves properly

"Yep, uh, hu, yeah. Right. Ok. Ignore them you say? But what if...".

Sorry about that. Didn't realise you were there. Just been on the phone to Brother Cheatham again. Apparently he's not happy about the Trixton Market Traders Collective opposing the 'temporary' ice rink being carted down here. Something about car-parking, selling stuff, business suffering. All a lot of ill-founded nonsense so BC says Gruesome P Silverblade told him.

And I believe him. Look, the facts are, it's going to do you good having this marvellous community facility here: Scretam benefits because it's less busy; think of all those people who won't be coming to the place and cluttering it up with their big sticks and tutus. And Trixton - think of it: Ice hockey is a particularly bulky sport; you need a big bag for all that gear. So when they're waiting between quarters or whatever - during a particularly dull match or a fight - they can come over and fill those great big bags with fruit and veg; save it all going rotten at the end of a day. That's what Gruesome P Silverblade from Nesco's keeps saying; "Look, you should all shop at Nesco's anyway (big car park in case you didn't know), the fruit and veg is much more standardised, coated in plastic and sprayed with clear nail varnish to make it look shiny. It's a community thing!"

That leads me to another idea I had earlier: look, what's the point in building that 'temporary' rink in Trixton, then having to waste all that time building a new rink in Scretam for a load of zombie ice hockey clubs (they will be by then anyway)? It's just a waste of everyone's money, Nesco's at least, so how's about we build a retractable Ice Rink on the car park at Nesco's Hypermegamarket just down the road in.....Trixton!

I don't think this has been given enough thought. In fact I think it could just work. Watch this space...

Oh and, I'm glad to hear that our local MP, Dononvan K Cheekbone (right) IX (JP, MC, MA, MSc [Deptford Poly]) (pictured) is so supportive of Nesco's 'temporary' magic mushroom in Trixton that he's issued a statement of support, which can be read on his website:

You can always read more on this by heading off to Facebook

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