Thursday, 28 October 2010

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

Word has reached HQ that some of you readers out there have been missing my, er, missives. And that's nice to know: I'm already aware that both our local MP, Dononvan K Cheekbone (right) IX (JP, MC, MA, MSc [Deptford Poly]) and my old friend Gruesome P are big fans of my campaign to bring Nesco to to the party in Scretam, and do so love my writings. I'm afraid I've been touring the country with my 
KĊauau band.

It's good to have you join such esteemed company, and I hope you spread the word: knacker the carpark and build a bloody great big temporary mushroom - at least that's what that barely-concealed Malison Boung - head of the project for Dambeth and former Nescos *cough* 'consultant-or-something - keeps telling me. 

She really is a smashing girl (below), and doesn't deserve any of the criticism, or totally false allegations following her politely requesting Councillor Verygood get on her knees and "Kiss me where the sun don't shine" - in my opinion, a thoroughly enchanting prospect and clearly far more attractive than kissing her on the lips!

Anyway, I'm rambling again. I see there was a bit of a fishy episode that left the anti-Nesco campaign skating on thin ice the other week. I really must protest - like the pun?! What these silly buggers just don't understand is the value of a good, community hypermegamarket, and throwing ice all over it to make a point about some silly little crumbling ice palace or other just won't cut it.

The fact is the council are in the bag; Brother Cheatham tells me that they're home-and-hosed and that a little thing like 'Completely screwing up the project' won't affect things too much; he's definitely a winner! As for the misguided Verygood (right), she's walking a very fine line. In fact, I hear Brother Cheatham is soon going to start issuing a brand new circular to add to the soon-to-be-lamented and all-around smashing read, 'Dambethisgreatwithmeinchargesoshutit'. It'll be called 'Whyi'mrightandverygoodcangoswingfromarope', and I'm looking forward to seeing how popular it is, especially in Cllr Verygood's marginal ward, where I've assured Cheatham she's about as popular as the current Deputy PM is at a B&B in Hastings! 

One more thing; word has reached me that Nescos might not be as keen as Dambeth about the Magic Mushroom, but I still think it's worth doing, if only for the sight of all those silly cars having to park at Dambeth's local hypermegamarket! Irony indeed!


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